Hurry Up, Superman

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Good morning, sports fans, this is Mike Greensmith on ESPN. Today my message is simple: thank you NFL draft—you’re the only thing we have to talk about. With me are Bobby “Basher” Jones and Chad Wentworth III. Gentlemen, give me your draft predictions. Basher: I predict that number one pick Joe Burrow will be out… Read more »

The Governor Apologizes

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Governor’s spokesperson: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Fresh off his humanitarian aid sabbatical, may I present the governor of our great state: “Well, hello, everybody. Wow, you all look younger—how did you do that? Anyway, we’re turning the corner on this pandemic and the polls are looking good, so… regarding my previous press conference. It… Read more »