Today I have a story about my recent showdown with a creature that sends chills down many people’s spines. If you’re squeamish, you had better stop reading now. For everyone else, proceed with caution and have some smelling salts close at hand.
I was squirming through a cobweb-infested crawl space yesterday when I felt the pitter-patter of eight legs running on my neck. Yes, it was a spider and the beast was running like Seabiscuit in the home stretch. I flicked it off before it could sink its fangs into my jugular, but the message from the Spider Kingdom was crystal clear: “Beware, bug man, we’re out to get you… when you least expect it, expect it… and if you’re expecting it all the time then we own you, man!”
I wasn’t worried because Black Widows are the only dangerous spider on the mountain and they don’t run like racehorses—they crawl in super slow motion just to magnify the horror. My “neck runner” was likely a harmless house spider, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing but a quick shot of adrenalin. Who needs coffee when you have spiders crawling all over you. Thanks, Mother Nature, for the free “arachnid espresso.”
It’s fall and spiders are making a beeline for our warm homes. If you fear the pitter-patter of eight prickly feet, call us and we’ll send a technician to huff and puff and blow the spiders out of your house. At Home Defenders, we ain’t afraid of no fangs!
I don’t normally scare readers with graphic descriptions of life in the pest trenches, but every so often I go full reality TV mode… keeps people on their toes. Don’t worry, squeamish folks, the odds of having a spider crawl on your neck are almost zero. Unless you’re in a crawl space and then the odds skyrocket to near certainty. Have an arachnid espresso free week, everyone!