Posts Categorized: Uncategorized

 It’s time for my annual article on “signs I might be getting old.” Here’s my new list: >> I’ve seen many generations of dogs go from pup to adult to old dog to gone-to-doggy-heaven. >>When I’m in a good mood, I’m amazed at how many brown hairs I still see on my head. When I’m… Read more »

Today, I’m going to write about something that adds a great spice to life. It lives in every article I’ve ever written, but I’ve never dared write about it, lest the writing gods strike me dead. What on earth am I talking about? I’m talking about that sense of mystery—the feeling that you don’t know… Read more »

Get ready, everybody, because I just saw an adorable scene of baby animals cavorting with their mothers. As I watched them, I thought, “If you went into the forest looking for these critters, you’d rarely find them. Even if you were lucky enough to find them, well, where’s the magic in that? Like that old… Read more »

Where have all the ants, spiders, and rodents gone? Did we do something to offend them? Are we the only pest free community on Earth? Like the nutty guy in old Dracula movies says, “If this is true, it’s the most fantastic thing in the world!”  But no, it’s not fantastic, pests are crawling all over… Read more »

Father’s day is around the corner and it’s time to sing the praises of dear old dad. Well, to be honest, I don’t have many praises to sing. Dad never started a business, let alone a pest business; he never had to drum up money for payroll in the dead of winter; he couldn’t write… Read more »

Haven’t we all burned down a barn or two? Maybe not. Last week I wrote about Uncle Keith burning down a barn on my grandparent’s Illinois farm. Well, when I was a kid, I too caused a barn fire on the farm. Here’s the story:  At a July 4th family gathering, my younger brother and I… Read more »

Why do mothers and fathers hog all the love? Shouldn’t they share? Mother’s Day is around the corner, Father’s Day is coming, and I’m wondering why we can’t have an Uncle’s Day. Don’t those guys deserve their day in the sun, too? My most colorful uncle is Mom’s youngest brother, Keith. When he was a… Read more »

This is it. This is my moment of truth. I’m seconds away from discovering the silver bullet against gophers I’ve been searching for my whole career at Home Defenders. Fame and fortune, here I come!   My parents are here visiting from Illinois; Mom, unlike me, never left home seeking fame and fortune, grew up… Read more »

 Help Wanted: Job duties include typing termite reports, scheduling service calls, answering the phone … and telling the boss he’s wrong. Contact Home Defenders Pest Management.   Writing these articles is fun, but it takes a lot of hard work. I learned to write them the same way I learned to be a professional exterminator:… Read more »

Have you ever noticed how quickly gray squirrels can eat a pile of sunflower seeds? Those critters can rip through a hundred seeds like a kindergarten class through a bowl of M&M’s. And then the bravest of the bunch is peeking in my sliding glass door as if to say, “Hey, Mr. Human Man, cute… Read more »