Posted by & filed under Uncategorized.

“Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?”

 “We interrupt The Shadow Radio Hour to bring you breaking news. Take it away street reporter Johnny Fellini…”

“Step aside, Babe Ruth, there’s a new hero nibbling on the Big Apple and the dailies have given him the moniker ‘Flood Rat’. The furry little lug gained his fame sheltering behind a subway support beam as floodwaters threatened to wash him out to the East River. Hey, Flood Rat, say cheese and smile for the cameras!”

“New York is so smitten with Flood Rat we’ll soon see him on Broadway with a bevy of bare-ankled beauties in a show of skin that will make this reporter blush like a Dominican friar at a Rockettes revue. Yowza!”

“With me now is pest control ace Mike Nolan of Home Defenders Rat Catchers & Cockroach Smashers. Mr. Nolan, is Flood Rat just another flash in the pan?”

“Uh, no, Johnny, this critter knows how to save his own skin. He’s a survivor.

“Say, Mr. Nolan, speaking of rats, how can New Yorkers keep them out of their tenements?”

“Well, Johnny, I always tell people to rinse their stool buckets in the river at least once a week. Rats love the smell of fresh stool.”

“Er, thanks, Mr. Nolan, our listeners will have that image in their noggins until those bungling Brooklyn Dodgers win the World Series. Wait, this just in—oh, no! Flood Rat has met his maker in a Home Defenders snap trap. Oh, the tragedy! Oh well, good night, greasy prince, sleep tight.”

“And now the rest of the story. Nolan was hailed a hero for ridding the city of rats and was last seen with a bevy of bare-ankled beauties. Which has this reporter asking the age-old question: how much more skin could women possibly show? This is Johnny Fellini, signing off and on his way to a cold shower. Yowza!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Time limit is exhausted. Please reload the CAPTCHA.