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The spider was making tracks for the safety of my washer/dryer, and I was in hot pursuit. With seconds to spare the critter made it to the finish line, and the chase was over. Does that sound familiar? It should, because it’s summer and spiders are living the good life inside our homes.

Customers ask me, “Do we have poisonous spiders on the mountain?” Yes, we have black widows, and they’re notoriously poisonous, but few folks freak out over them. Familiarity breeds indifference, I guess.

“But what about those Brown Recluse spiders?” a few ask. Uh, how can I put this gently… that Brown Recluse scare in the Nineties—those sensational stories of people who’d supposedly had arms and legs and other body parts amputated—was pure media fabrication. Sorry folks, Brown Recluse spiders aren’t native to California, and you’ll never do battle with one.

“But I saw a news report about Brown Recluses on the TV, gosh darn it!” insist a few holdouts still wearing baggy pants and Doc Martens. 

My reply to that is Claude Rains 101: “I’m shocked, shocked that TV news would steer you wrong!”

If you’re sick of seeing spiders running down the home stretch, we have great new products to get them out from your house. Call us for a free evaluation.

Oh, and here’s more news for anyone still stuck in the Nineties: Teenage heartthrob Leonardo DiCaprio is just about due for his first colonoscopy; “Saved By The Bell” was canceled for insulting the intelligence of everybody in America; and modern guys wear pants so tight they look like they’ve been painted on.

I suppose that’s to keep those Brown Recluse spiders from crawling up their legs.

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