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Writing these articles is a real mind trip. Every week I write words and every week you readers bring those words to life inside your head. So, in some sense, you have a little storyteller rooting around your brain. But, please,  don’t let that stop you from reading. I’m as harmless as a dormouse.

Anyway, I’ve got ants on my brain this week, and with the spring invasion in full swing, let’s go over the three major mountain home invading ants:

Carpenter Ants—Big, black, wood-destroying ants that make small piles of grainy sawdust. They don’t eat wood, as some people think, but rather bore tunnels. Their presence often indicates excessive moisture in walls.

Velvety Tree Ants—Small black ants that trail from old trees into your home. Like carpenter ants, they tunnel in wood, leaving lots of fine powdery sawdust If you see a large pile of fine sawdust in your home, they’re the culprits.

Odorous House Ants—These are the ants most likely to get into sugary foods or meats, so be on the lookout. Many infestations start with a few scouts snooping around, and if you can smash them in time, you might avoid an invasion. Otherwise call us Home Defenders right away.

As long as I’m still inside your head, do you mind if I take a look around? OK, thanks. Wow, it’s like a giant warehouse in here… there are stacks and stacks of memories and some of them have been rubbed out for some reason. Oh, look… it’s the chamber of your most secret desire. I think I’ll just mosey in… don’t worry, we’ve known each other for years, I won’t judge… it’s coming into focus now… oh, what a radiant sight! I’ve dropped to my knees. It smells like a field of fresh lavender and I want it more than anything in the whole wide world. After all, what sane person wouldn’t cherish a mountain of gleaming white toilet paper!

This coronavirus thing has gotten way out of control.

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